Conquer your green-eyed monster
3 ways to reframe envy
Hey there —
Imagine you’re scrolling through Instagram and stumble upon a friend's post. They’re announcing that they’ve quit their job and are moving to [insert exotic location here]. 🌴
Is your gut reaction:
“I’m so happy for them!” 😃
“Why can’t I have what they have?” 🫤
If your answer is B, congrats: you’ve experienced envy.
Almost everyone is familiar with envy and how it squashes joy while leaving plenty of room for insecurity and irritability.
But why do we sometimes feel empty when we see others succeed?
Sarah E. Hill and David M. Buss, authors of The Evolutionary Psychology of Envy, suggest envy once motivated us to compete for resources necessary for our survival. They also point out that the feeling of “unfairness” is “an important part of what it means to be human.”
But while envy is a normal human emotion, its side effects can be brutal. It’s often associated with hostility, depression, and shame. And one 2013 study found that envy brought on by our Facebook feeds could decrease life satisfaction. 😰
So what can we do to make sure a tinge of jealousy doesn’t turn into a raging green monster? The next time you feel envy attempting to Hulk out on you, try reframing it with these three mindset shifts:
Use envy as a roadmap. Envy isn't a signal that something's wrong — it’s telling you, “Psst, this is important to you.” And that twinge may be revealing goals you didn't even know you had. See it as a friendly nudge to reevaluate what's important to you and help you adjust your lifestyle accordingly.
Remember there’s enough for everyone. Another YouTuber gaining a million followers doesn’t mean you won’t. Your friend getting married doesn’t mean you’re destined for an eternity of third-wheeling. Not everything is a competition — there’s plenty to go around for everyone.
Take it as a learning opportunity. Instead of feeling envious of where someone is in their life, ask them what their path was like. You’ll learn how you can get there too or — if you’re already on your way — how to prepare for the road ahead.
Envy doesn’t have to derail us. The key to conquering it is to see others’ achievements as an inspiring goalpost for what’s possible. Luckily for us, we have (several) billion opportunities to practice just that. ✨
How I tamed panic
by Dan Shipper
Dan Shipper had his first panic attack almost a decade ago.
What he thought was a one-time traumatic experience became a recurring issue that he feared might jeopardize his career — and even his life. Instead of succumbing to his panic, Shipper gathered the courage to navigate his new mental landscape.
In this article, he shares the unlikely tactics that worked for him (such as bike sprints and biofeedback devices). He also dissects the science behind panic so you can better understand how it functions and how it might be tamed.
Recreating the Netflix intro with $30 worth of yarn
by Kevin Parry
YouTuber Kevin Parry challenged himself to recreate the Netflix intro with…yarn. 🧶
You might be wondering, ”Why?” The answer is, “Well, why not?” Parry’s a big fan of doing things for the sake of his own enjoyment (and not for monetization or popularity).
This video is also a fun reminder that constraints often lead to the best creative outcomes. (Plus, it looks pretty darn cool.)
99 Mindful conversation topics for deeper connections
by Kayti Christian
Ask someone how they’re doing, and you’ll likely get answers such as, “I’m fine, thanks!” or the classic, “Pretty good. How about you?” 🥱
There’s nothing wrong with small talk, but imagine how much more interesting your conversations would be if instead you asked:
• What gives you goosebumps?
• What color would you use to describe yourself?
• What is the compliment you receive most often?
These questions come from Kayti Christian’s listicle, where she gives you 99 prompts for more meaningful conversations for your next happy hour, family gathering, or dinner party. 🍝
“Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they're big, flashing signs that something needs to change.”
— Gretchen Rubin
Written by Alice Lemée
Edited by Matt D'Avella & Kerstin Sheppard